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They say that writing is therapeutic and good for the soul. This page is to allow the bereaved to share their feelings. Tell your story, offer comfort to others, leave a tribute to your loved one or simply read the experiences of others. If you want to take a closer look at the pictures, click the photo and it will enlarge. If you would like to contribute to this page please contact Patricia .


My dear Pavel,

I used to look at you and wonder what I would do when you were gone. Did you realize how very special you were? I loved your intelligence, your wacky sense of humor, your charisma, your crazy way of playing with words, your ability to connect with people from all walks of life from the country folks up here to the bureaucrats in Washington. Now don't get me wrong, honey. You were no saint. We certainly had more than our share of arguments. But you were a pretty amazing guy. I was so proud of you in your battle against cancer. For nearly four years you fought so hard and with so much courage. I remember how much you loved working on the wood for the stove. All through your treatments up until the last months, you went out in the yard splitting, chopping, and stacking. I love the pictures of you with your wood because it reminds me of your bravery and determination.

In the end it seemed you were was gone so fast. I try not to feel that I should have known your time was so short and so I should have done this or that. I really try not to do the coulda shoulda routine. We knew for so long what would come and the longer you lived the closer we got to the inevitable. You want the last hug, the last kiss, the last, well it goes on and on. But I guess it is always that way. We do get those things, of course, but at the time they are happening we don't realize they are the last. I try and focus on the positive things. You almost died in 2005 and we were blessed with nearly four more good years despite all the treatment. And in the end you didn’t linger long.

After you were gone, I took one day at a time. I didn’t think about the rest of my life. That was too painful. Some days were better than others. There were days when I felt so sad but then I would think; you would not want me to be that way. So I picked myself up and focused on what I needed to do that day. I try and embrace the wonderful things you introduced me to that enrich my life: music, literature, travel, and chess. I know that would make you happy.

I miss you so. But I am finding my way. It is getting better little by little. You will always be with me. I know you will be waiting for me when it is my time. Till we meet again.

Your loving wife Patricia


WHEN GRIEF CAME KNOCKING AT MY DOOR ONE DAY
By Janet Kraft

We both knew it was coming. It was Death calling her name, as the clock was ticked away.

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Why I Go To Bereavement Groups

By Michael A. Gelb

I had a loss in my life
I lost a mother and also a wife
It hurts so bad when people die and they are gone
I was told a bereavement group might help me to move on
We sit and talk about our lost love
How we miss them and how we know they’re in the heavens above
We all can come together because of the pain we all share
We can relate to each other with passion and how much we care
Talking about the past, which now is a memory in our life
We're not sure of our future that will be for the rest of our life
We now have to face big changes in our life
Someone may have lost a parent, a child, a sibling, a husband or a wife
It’s our group that knows our loss and our pain
At times our friends or family might think we’re not sane
Someone may say something that would bring us a smile
That’s something that happens every once in a while
We try to get by the sorrow
If not today then maybe tomorrow
Maybe after time and lots of tears
Just maybe we might find another love that cares


Lost A Poem by Margaret Dondero

I look at your picture and it makes me cry
I stare at it for a long while

You were my husband and best friend
I don’t know if I will ever be happy again

I was your wife and happy to be
I know you loved me that I could see

I sometimes send you a message on a balloon
To tell you that you left me too soon

I hear your voice and smell your cologne
But when I turn around I’m all alone

I miss your smile and your touch
I miss you so very much

I know your are with Marilyn and where your are
I wish I could there but not so far



My Love
by Phyllis Rehm

Why did you have to go?
Things were changing for you so fast.
How could we know
That one touch would be the last?

I know you are with me
Every day & every night.
I know you can hear & see me
As I am trying to do right.

You taught me so much -
To respect & to appreciate
Nature & G-D around us,
And goodness that radiates.

Although I have to say good-bye,
We will always have that tie
That binds us forever
In life & here after


My Twin Sister
By Sandy Rothschild Wolff

Diane battled against cancer for I think about 3+ years. She fought so hard and with courage. I question whether I would have had that strength.

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Having a Wife
By Michael A Gelb

What does it mean to have a wife
For me it was someone to share my life.
Someone to love and protect everyday
To love and cherish in everyway.
To have loved in the life we did share
To love so much and so much to care.
In my heart to feel her touch
Having children and grandchildren to love so much.
You will always be in my life
Till the end of time you are my wife.


My husband and I met at a small college in upstate NY. I was studying Vet Science and he was studying Animal Husbandry (farming). He came from a small town in NJ where his father and uncle operated a family farm. It was the fall of 1964. I was a freshman; Jim was a sophomore. One night my friend Linda and I went to the library. A bunch of Agriculture guys one of whom was Jim were sitting at one table. Linda went over to talk to her boyfriend John. It was the first time Jim noticed me. I was wearing a college sweatshirt, inside out, blue denim capri pants, red sneakers and I had an orange streak in my brown hair. He asked John "Who the hell is that?" He later told me his first impression.


I didn't actually meet Jim until February 1965. John came up to me and said he had a guy for me. I replied that I wasn't interested; I wanted to be free for a while. One day the aggie boys and girls were finishing lunch and got up to leave. As I got up my friend Nicki said, “Not you Scrub” (my nickname; Jim's was Jungle). We both sat there and he asked me out. The rest is history. He told me I was the first love of his life.


We got married January 2, 1966. His mother did not approve and was a thorn in my side forever. We had five children, one of whom is deceased my first born, Cheryl. Our marriage was up and down. At one point I took the kids to NY and went to nursing school. I stayed for 6 years because of my mother in law. We came back after she passed.

I n 1995 Jim admitted he had an affair for 3 1/2 yrs with our neighbor. Our marriage almost fell apart then, but he could not leave and I could not imagine life without him. I remember telling him that I would get custody of the cat. But we stayed together and became closer than ever before. It actually helped strengthen our marriage. In fact after he died I met “the other woman” one day while I was walking and we talked. I no longer felt the hate.

Jim had not been feeling well for 6 months before he died. I feel I should have seen it coming. At one point he came up from the barn looking terrible and was having difficulty breathing. I told him to go to the doctor but he wouldn't. The week before he passed he complained of chest discomfort but said it was a pulled muscle. One night he was listening to sad country songs; I told him it was depressing but I noticed he had tears in his eyes. A few days later on Sunday morning, we forced him to go to the hospital. He was having a heart attack. I thought he would be ok, but then they sent him to Morristown . I kissed him good bye and never talked to him again.

The doctor at MT said he had a left ventricular septal defect meaning a hole in the heart. He said it was terminal but he would try to operate so we could say goodbye. But he did not make it. That was Aug 12, 2002. It has been lonely but if it wasn't for the bereavement groups it would have been even harder. And now there is BSGconnect and the great group we have. Thank you Janet and Pat.

Written by Diane Vough


My beloved wife Carol,

Two years have gone by since your passing, and I miss you more than ever. I told you many times that I love you, but somehow never mentioned that I admired you so much for your compassion toward people when you were suffering so much yourself. I thought it was so amazing that on the same day you would undergo chemo, you would insist on going to the women’s prison afterwards and serve as their spiritual counselor trying to lift their spirits and convince them that they could better their circumstances and increase their own self esteem.

I really enjoyed working with you in the Wilkes-Barre soup kitchen as I watched you make friends even there. We had to wear head coverings working with food, and you made a paper hat for me that make me look like an admiral in the 18 th century British navy. You made so many friends in your church in Wilkes-Barre that the pastor practically begged you to remain a member even though we had moved back to New Jersey , 75 miles away.

I know you didn’t like me reading e-mails you sent to other people, and I always respected that. But recently I read one of the last e-mails you sent to a friend just before that last surgery you had in an attempt to prolong your life. I was so touched by that e-mail because you never mentioned the suffering you were enduring, but instead only talked about how hard all this was on me.

In December 2008 you made a two-minute video for me about the wonderful years we had together. You said we planned on many more years, but tragically we had only one more year. We did have 37 great years together, but apparently all good things must come to and end, but I know our love will last forever.

Yours eternally,

Peter



Gladly do I know my love

Evening Tide falls, He is resting

On a mountain top where a single flower grows

Rough and rugged is the path that leads to

Gentle eyes and a calmness like the blue waters

Enters the Soul of a Happy Heart.


Happy "Heavenly " Birthday to the Love of my Life

Forever Yours Fionula xxx

1972 - 2009 ( 37 loving years together )


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